


roundhouse

by lixrexu



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Character Thoughts, F/F, F/M, Gen, based on real life, group friendships, oc friendships too since it's based a lot on personal experiences, probably midorima-centric as it goes on, taekwondo, there's kuroko/reader if you squint, they're not the greatest friends at the beginning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-18 15:52:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18702724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lixrexu/pseuds/lixrexu
Summary: yet, even so, you defied the odds so shamelessly before him. you were almost deemed to live in the shadows of the miracles, but you prevailed without them. they were your friends, your life. you realized that if you all were so willing to break away from each other, then things could never have worked out in the end if left the way it was.so you chose to try and find the people who learned to love you.





	roundhouse

"I guess this is our last time together, isn't it?" You don't really know how to feel about leaving, you just know that you're finally _going_. The thought alone of moving up was enough to make your heart vibrate with an amalgamation of fear and excitement. Middle school was ending, and soon you would be going to Shūtoku. 

Kuroko takes a sip from his straw, his vanilla shake making a slurping sound. "You make it sound so sad, [First]-chan." His brown food tray is marked with wet, circular stains from his cup. He takes the last bite from his maji burger and adds, "This won't be the last time we see each other. Shūtoku isn't too far from Seirin."

You roll your shoulders, fingers fidgeting as you stare at the emptying drink in front of you. "I mean," you sigh. "it really is sad. I don't mean just us, you know. I mean all of us." You settle on unwrapping Kuroko's crumpled burger, trying to do something to collect your frazzled mind and concentrate. You fold it diagonally on both ends, then fold it in half both ways.

"It was time for us to go our own ways," he casually says. It seemed to come along with him keeping his eyes peeled for everyone. Things hardly went unnoticed - in fact, you know that he can feel your anxiety racing through your mind. Kuroko's cryptic messages always came backed up with the things he had seen, and you had seen with him the breakdown of your little group.

He was right.

You bring the diagonal ends to the middle of the paper, making a bumpy, burger-wrapper diamond. "I just didn't want it to go out like this, I suppose." You drag your nails over the wrapper, feeling each imperfection of the diamond, knowing full well you couldn't smooth it out no matter how many times you ran your fingers over the parchment.

How you became part of their little world was beyond you, but you accepted it. You loved every minute you spent with them, even with all the fighting that could take place. It was still fun; they were still the ones who made going to school feel less lonely.

Seeing your friends break away as the final year of middle school went by also broke your heart. You didn't know what you would do. They were your everything, though theirs was never you; because of that, you tried to find somewhere else to try and fill the loneliness.

"I'm doing taekwondo."

"Huh?" Kuroko blinks, slightly recoiling back. "You're what?"

"Doing taekwondo." Your voice is firm. You stare straight back at Kuroko, whose head is slightly tilted. He furrows his eyebrows together and brings a hand to his chin. He thinks for a minute, then brings an index finger out.

Kuroko knows that ever since Aomine started skipping practices, you began to peter out from them as well. It was scary, watching him lose the drive he had. While you had never experienced the same devotion to anything in your life, seeing Aomine become a bitter shell was enough to keep you away from your friends.

You do not know how it feels to lose passion for something that brings life into you. There had been nothing in the past that fueled you the same way basketball fueled the Generation of Miracles. While you live through your friendships and serving the ones you care about, it did not compare to the dedication and love each of them have for basketball. You saw it all -- Aomine's fall from grace.

You did not, however, need a passion to know how it feels to stop caring. You were scared of Aomine, of not caring anymore. It was the you before them. It was you. 

Akashi and Murasakibara's little game was what brought you to the edge - the emptiness in eyes that once held care. Like a king, he forced you to your knees; like a dictator, he forced you to find a way out.

Akashi's own fall forced you to look at who you used to be once more. You questioned everything, everyone. His apathy turned you toward the unknown and indecision because you didn't know if it would happen to you the same way it kept happening to the ones you cared about the most.

Taekwondo became the outlet that you needed.

You were not the martial arts type; it took a few months of convincing to even get you to join, but in the end you succumbed to the calls anyway. Physical activity wasn’t necessarily your strongest suit. You used to have hobbies with more artistic endeavors, so sports weren’t your forte. You had only joined because said friends felt like less than friends. You needed the camaraderie. You needed the discipline, the stability. At your lowest, this felt like it was the only option other than isolation.

"I take it," he starts, connecting dots, "that this is where you've been going recently." You can only nod back in reply. The tight-knit community still accepted you -- they welcomed you in with no other thought and treated you like you had always been there even from the start. You had only started when March began; but, now, as the month came to an end, you knew you had felt more solidarity among your martial arts peers than with the school friends who you didn't know anymore. "I'm happy you found them."

Taekwondo, just like school, filled you with the same mixed emotion of fear and excitement. Despite the friendliness the people had exuded, you could feel in your heart you were the wrong person being shoved into somewhere you weren't allowed to fit in.

Each movement you made there was stiff. Every block, kick, and punch was foreign against your skin. Contact when sparring rattled you through your bones. You roll your shoulders again, feeling tense just from imagining your poor performances among your newfound friends. It felt wrong to find somewhere to fit in when everything fell apart.

"I'm happy, too," you murmur. You both know you're lying, but at this point have to leave it on those terms. You glance to your right and see the sun just starting to hide behind trees. It's a thursday, and you know that practice comes at six o'clock sharp. He knows that Akashi wants him back at the gym soon, anyway.

You fold your wrapper-diamond in half, the crinkling of paper filling in the silence between you two. You put the folded wrapper back onto his tray, and you both get up from the booth. Kuroko throws his trash away and turns to you. "I hope it goes well, [First]-chan." his mouth twitches upward, and he places a hand on your shoulder. "We'll see you tomorrow," he says with hope glimmering in his eyes.

 _We_. You suppose he means that the rest of you will meet one last time after your little "promotion" into high school. Though you have wanted nothing more than to see your friends all together, you feel a chill run down your spine at the thought of a gathering. You feel Akashi's piercing gaze shoot through your consciousness even when he isn't around. Aomine's disregard for everyone brings the tense feeling back in your shoulders tenfold. Everyone had changed, and so had you. You didn't want to be living afraid of people who made it clear you mattered little to them now. 

You muster out a reply as you both step out the door, exchange goodbyes, and you find yourself quickly on your way to the night's practice.

**Author's Note:**

> i've made a lot of drafts for this particular idea. i didn't want to give up on it because there was a story i wanted to tell, even if this isn't the whole story i've been spouting in my head. this is meant to be a reflection on my own growth throughout my time in taekwondo, as well as a sort of commentary on how much i can understand everyone's dedication in a new light now that i've found something that i deeply love and cherish. my only hopes are that you can find this love within this story, and that you can find this sort of love in your own life as time goes on.


End file.
